Identity

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The Mennonite Doctrine on Inter-Marriages

Today I got an email from a guy from school asking if Mennonites only date/marry Mennonites. Finding this a strange email question and one that he must have known the answer to, I responded in an informative way (exact copy of my reply):

Funny you should ask, it's a long story if you want to understand the Mennonite position on outside relationships, but basically the answer is:

No, there are some Mennonites who deviate from staying within their cultural/religious affiliation. However, Mennonites are expected to marry and procreate with other Mennonites. Dating and friendships with non-Mennonites has become increasingly more acceptable, but is frowned upon and usually results in disassociation with the church and sometimes the family. Interestingly, Mennonites are expected to be married before the age of 25 or else are expected to have sworn chastity.

There are recently accepted ways which allow a non-Mennonite, both in culture and religious heritage, to convert and therefore make a connection with a Mennonite more appropriate. Why do you ask?

(the age of 25 thing was Mel's input) Oh, and by the way I think the only way to convert to Mennonite's cultural heritage is to consume mass amounts of vareniki, borscht and schmofat, so if the question comes up that will be the response.

38 Comments:

Blogger Tom said...

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

HAHAHAHAHA

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 10:01:00 PM  
Blogger Rebs said...

that was good, cher...I hope the poor guy takes you seriously, because that would be hilarious.

seriously though, we are pretty inbred as a whole.
ha. I'm very glad I'm not as inbred as you are (ahem...penners marrying penners)...

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 8:32:00 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Rebekah!

Publishing the fact that my parents are both penners is not an appropriate thing to do on the internet (of course I'm ok with it, because I'm sure not too many people will read this-otherwise I wouldn't have made fun out of this-for risk of hurting feelings etc.)

Anyways, I really thought he would know it was a joke (I thought he asked the question knowing the answer) Now I just feel bad. I mean wierd forms of mennonites don't outer marry, if he's only come into contact with those people, it's a legitimate question.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 6:12:00 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

By the way this is the response which has caused me to believe he took me seriously.

"Curiosity ;)

I had no idea there are these thoughts/pressures around such relationships for Mennonite's. In fact I'm kind of surprised; especially about the vow to chastity by 25.

So what's your personal views on this topic? and what are those acceptable ways for a non-Mennonite to convert?"

But he might have been joking too. Either way it's pretty funny. I let the cat out of the bag though with my response, though having some fun with it before that.

"Well, my own personal view is really irrelevant, I mean, I'm a Mennonite through and through. I don't have a huge problem with it. There are tons of Mennonites in Manitoba, so it's not like I'm that limited.

Usually converting to the Mennonite faith only takes a baptism and a joining into the church membership, agreeing with the statement of faith for the Mennonite Brethren Conference.

The cultural conversion is a little different. It's quite extensive. In order to ensure that mennonite ways are passed down, a person needs to learn everything about the ways of Mennonites. It would involve learning the Low German dialect spoken, and becoming familiar with all foods, if a woman, learning to cook those foods, etc. It usually involves mass consumption of vreniki, borscht and smofat... oh yeah one more thing... gotcha. As you may have realized by the ridiculousness of this, I've been joking this whole time. I couldn't resist. I wasn't sure if you were joking about mennonites being able to date non mennonites, so I just completely made this up (except for the faith conversion-that's really what it takes to join a mennonite church, oh and we do eat those foods, and some speak low german) Yeah, basically being mennonite is like an ethnic thing as well as a christian denomination. So... I'm still not sure if you caught on to the joke or not, if you didn't I'm sorry for taking advantage of you not knowing about Manitoba Mennonites (there are old order mennonites in ontario, that may well follow some of those made-up rules)

Cheryl

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 6:32:00 PM  
Blogger Rebs said...

has the possibilty crossed your mind that he's interested in you? these questions could indicate a personal interest in the answer.

alls i'm sayin is, i wouldn't be surprised if that was why...

Thursday, September 28, 2006 8:31:00 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

As someone who defied this rule and married someone whose mother defied this rule.... there's some truth in it especially amongst older people. I've heard the stories of people shaking my father-in-law's hand when his engagement was announced and darn near breaking his hand. Pfffft, pacifists.

Thursday, September 28, 2006 10:06:00 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Mike, there is so no truth to it, not with my parents or even my grandparents (could have to do with the fact that my grandpa joined the army-therefore isnt' too bound by mennonite "rules"

Anyways, Zeb, the thought has more than crossed my mind. I'd love to be innocent and unaware, but the 5 paragraph email after that, squashed any niavety that may have been left. crap

Thursday, September 28, 2006 4:43:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

DETAILS!!!

Thursday, September 28, 2006 5:05:00 PM  
Blogger Roz said...

This goes back awhile, but I'm not on the internet very much so that's my excuse. I was a little offended by the comment about the Penner girl's being little dolls. Also you are all hilarious.

Thursday, September 28, 2006 6:41:00 PM  
Blogger Roz said...

Also, I have a blog now, but maybe I should have a myspace instead? What do you guys think? I like the fact that you can comment on myspace even though you're not a member where as to right this I had to start a blog. Which has nothing on it but check it out if you want

Thursday, September 28, 2006 6:43:00 PM  
Blogger Roz said...

Apparently I'm very confused and thought that rebekah's blog was a myspace. How come I could post comments on hers but not on Cheryl's???? This is so weird and I refuse to join in

Thursday, September 28, 2006 6:50:00 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

Cheryl has set her blog so that only people with blogger or google accounts can comment. It's the easiest way to prevent strangers and spam robots from posting nonsense all over your blog.

Rebekah has set her blog to allow anonymous commenting, but you have to type in those annoying letters every time (this, again, is to prevent spam robots from posting).

I like this way better myself, but if you want more comments from random people Rebekah's way works fine.

Myspace is nice for putting up pictures and having a song of the day, but mostly it's way too complicated - plus full of ads. I think you should go with blogger (this one) if you wanna start a blog (please do!!)

Actually I was thinking of starting to use blogger too since nobody seems to see my current blog anyway... well that or only Mike and Rebekah really love me :P

Cheryl perhaps you were unaware of how deeply excruciating it is to hear that some guy asked you out but not hear how you feel or what you plan to do about the situation...

Thursday, September 28, 2006 7:07:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

I just visited Roztown... and there was no body home.

Oh: and you're all cute, little dolls. Delicate little cupie-dolls with big cupie-doll eyes.

And I'm a grumpy man.

Thursday, September 28, 2006 7:30:00 PM  
Blogger Rebs said...

it's true tom, we're the only ones who love you.
roslyn, it's too bad you're not very bright.
cheryl, I demand details, this instant.
mike, i love your new picture.

Friday, September 29, 2006 9:16:00 AM  
Blogger Rebs said...

I also love how incredibly intelligent I am in all matters of heart. did I call that, or did I call that?

Friday, September 29, 2006 10:38:00 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

I thought I had blogged yesterday and informed everyone that NOBODY asked me out.
There was a very long email with some questions about whether I found romance this summer and suggesting of some taste testing of the mennonite foods that he was going to try to eat. That was it.
The hoopla about this is reminding me of the mandy blind date situation

Friday, September 29, 2006 8:06:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

So, in all likelihood, he WANTS to ask you out. He just hasn't yet.

Friday, September 29, 2006 8:39:00 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

It seems we're just not going to get the whole story over these useless inter nets...

Friday, September 29, 2006 11:55:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

All right, as there's no new updates inappropiate Mike has decided to highjack this blog. Let's speculate people who could date Cheryl! Anyone? Anyone?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 10:39:00 AM  
Blogger Rebs said...

ooo! excellent idea Mike.
the problem is, the only boy that I really know that Cheryl ALSO knows...who's not married or something...is Tom.
So, unless our dear Thomas doesn't mind being paired up with every single gal in our c&c (while funny in theory - I find this less than realistic/ practical), we really would need more boys around for this theoretical matching to reallly fly.
too bad we're not in small town manitoba...we'd all be hitched.

(and by too bad, I mean I'm quite glad.)

I've read the email from this young man, and I heartily disapprove of him. so even if Cheryl WAS interested, I would veto it.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

Details, Rebs.

And it doesn't have to be people everyone knows. It could even be a composite of characteristics we'd like a boyfriend of Cheryl to have!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger Rebs said...

Also: Cher and I, because of all this hooplah, had a conversation about how if any of us gals did start dating anyone, the best plan would be to not tell ANYONE from portage until about a month afterwards, because everyone just gets too excited. Apparently she’s already promised to tell Jonathan and Kimberly if that ever happens...but I will never be suckered into such crazy promises.
You’ve gots to admit that we’s got a point.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 11:58:00 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

WHAT!?! J & K get to know. That's so wrong.

I don't excited about this kind of stuff. I get... mischeivious. That is all.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 1:24:00 PM  
Blogger Rebs said...

I guess mischievousness is hard to portray via email. It involves too much expression – bright eyes, wry tone, hint of smirk...
As far as characteristics...this man must above all be very, very attractive.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 1:57:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

He must absolutely NOT be attractive. That would be SO unfair.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 3:01:00 PM  
Blogger Rebs said...

That’s the jealousy talking. He has GOT to be attractive. D.E.F.I.N.I.T.E.L.Y.
They’ll have beautiful babies.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 3:24:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

Attractive or no, I will hate him.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 4:16:00 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

Rebekah I think you're onto something, we should go back to your previous idea. ;)

What if he WAS me, Mike? Would you hate me?? Wait, don't answer that.

Actually, lets all just talk about me for awhile, I think that would be a good idea

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 4:25:00 PM  
Blogger Rebs said...

what an excellent plan. I love self-centered people.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 4:28:00 PM  
Blogger Rebs said...

in type, that sounded unnecessarily mean. in real life it was funny.

by love them, I mean, I am one.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 4:29:00 PM  
Blogger Rebs said...

cheryl needs to change the time zone on her blog..it was 5:30 when I wrote this.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 4:33:00 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

I knew what you meant Rebekah :)

Yes that time zone thing is a bit annoying, I can't tell if I'm posting the same time as other people...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 11:00:00 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

Oh, speaking of Mennonite inbreeding, did I ever tell you guys that Reuben is a Schmidt-Schmidt

Good times

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 11:02:00 PM  
Blogger jpunk5 said...

cheryl needs someone that's a
man-janelle.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 8:28:00 AM  
Blogger Rebs said...

that would be great...especially if he's as buff as Janelle is. ha! (love you Janelle!!)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 11:48:00 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

Tom: NOW I would have to hate you on general prinicple. But only because I said I would. *shrugs* My principles are warped, it's true, but I have them.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 5:57:00 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

I cannot believe that there are 36 comments on this blog. You guys are pretty much crazy. But also being self-centered... I love it

Since you guys seems so intent on finding a guy for me, I give Rebs and Jonathan permission. beautiful babies sounds good, but good luck finding a guy as buff as Janelle (I've given up)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 7:49:00 PM  
Blogger Rebs said...

yes! I love that she trusts my judgement, even though the only characteristics I've listed so far have been so, so superficial!

Thursday, October 05, 2006 8:14:00 AM  

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